a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh god the rape fog is back!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
