how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
