Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
