told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
