yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
