I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
