dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
