We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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