goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
