You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have aggressive nipples.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
