Why are handjobs necessary in class?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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