DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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