he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
