This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize