oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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