well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
