I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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