guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
