you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
