oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
