She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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