what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
