but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
