I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
