I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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