I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
