So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
