yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
