he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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