You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
