It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
