hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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