Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
