If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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