If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
