My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
