Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
