Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
