Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
