dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
