You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
