Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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