HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
