Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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