you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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