this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
