dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
