I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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