Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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