Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
