ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
