need another drink. this is the easiest way
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
