May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
