i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
